可怜我吧，不可怜我吧...

It was the third week of my schooling days, and the days passed fast. It was again, caring week spree. While the tension was growing, I was starting to feel the pressure, like a dreaded knife plunging into my soul… TT But, 1 of the good thing is, because of this, I got to drive to school! Yeah!!! My first time drive o!! XD Really happy… ^^ <---This, is the only thing I am excited for this week. (Must highlight.. XD) Very sad…

Then, it came… Here we go again, running up and down, busy busy busy… Gosh, I am not superwoman, I am tired too... TT Not the old life again… I really wanted to make a difference this year, I want to get good grades, get good results, and really fight for what I want (which by the way, I don’t really know… XD) I am scared, I am scared I can’t stand long enough to survive, then I’ll break down… Haiz… What to do… I am already in form6… From what I had gathered years after years… I can honestly say I gain nothing. My GCE marks are not high enough, my efforts, wasted. Haiz.

Today, teachers are wishing us happy holidays. I was grumbling, my holidays ain’t that beautiful by sight. Caring week schedules are on, so our progresses are to be continued, and then that’s this leadership camp in Perak which I will be attending at the 5th-7th of June. Think you can handle it? Why not add a prefect camp right after the leadership camp? Then i was selected by the english teacher for appreciation speech for Teacher's Day... Whoa… Brain pain… I honestly do not know how my fellow mates do it, but I am truly impressed… Haiz. Maybe I am just not good enough? I know I shouldn’t be thinking so negatively. But after Mr. Tan, our math teacher “kindly” reminded us that we should be punctual or else not to be in his class at all, I was really sad. I know I am wrong, it’s just that… Haiz. 正如赔了夫人又折兵，须走须爬还须停，一波没复一波又起，钓饵栏杆也不行。试问世人，完美境界是如何达成？还是完全是美丽的谎言？

Hmm, just to let out my feelings inside. Except my annoying headache, I felt better. Huu… Really must prepare myself for the worst. And this concludes my form 6 life… ZZzZzZzzZZZzzZZ


~There’s always help when you needed it, just open your eyes and see. For me, I see you…~

Mommy's Korean Drama-Mr Goodbye....

I seldom saw my mom so obsessed in something (moreover over some tv drama)… But yet, things do change in time…
My mom was the type of person where she declares that her ‘quota’ for tv watching had already finished a long time ago. How so? She was the typical tv fan way back in her younger days. Morning came and the tv sound came with it too. ^^ Then after school the tv watching continues with more company from siblings, then at night too, after dinner and homework. I would refer this as tv addict but she said that was her way of life during the boring days.
It was until my mom worked and until my arrival she had stopped her tv watching days. We were quite often troubled when we were watching the blockbuster of the year and she managed to not even steal a look towards the tv. It was her magical ability and immunity toward the lust of television programs that we decided to ask her the million dollar question, why not watch tv? Hence, her ‘quota’ concept. She mentioned that she believes a person would only have a specific amount of tv programs to watch in a life time, hers had already ended. XD So, we all had our answers…
The world started changing (again) when where my mom usually read the newspapers or teaching my primary schooled brother had turned her head towards the tv. We were all very shocked. Korean drama!!! What’s to be expected? XD Mr.Goodbye, the Korean drama from astro KBS world. She was like any typical teen, watching hours and hours of tv just to 追连戏剧, 追结局… XD Surprise Surprise… She even missed the news telecast to watch the ending of the 16-episode drama. It was times like this that I started to see my mother’s charming personality, being a child again, those silly things she did sometimes… It’s funny and amusing seeing her chatting so enthusiastically about the movie. ^^ I do love my mom a lot… ^^

Our Great Lost...

We had suffered a great lost when our little chick passed away. It wasn’t anyone fault. It was just God needed them more than we do. I was on the way to lunch when my mom’s hand phone rang; we were all shocked by what our bro had to say... “有一只小鸡死了” My little brother, my mom and I were truly saddened. We got 7 chicks at home. Three were homebred by us, we saw them grew from egg hatching and out from the hen’s protection. Then the others were lately added to our little chick’s family.
When I went home, I hurried to check on the other chicks. 4 were dead, 1 was struggling. I believed it was a bad case of food poisoning, so I went on to helping our Strawberry, eldest of our 3 chicks, by keep pushing the contents of its tummy (ps, already soften tummy) out. I saw him vomited out yellow liquid. He was in tremendous pain. I knew, he was crying… It was the first time I ever saw our chicks cried. The pain in my heart was unspoken. I continued pushing its tummy, in hoping more bad liquid would come out. But Strawberry was in a state where he doesn’t know whether to vomit out the things or swallow it. It was a quite long process; he can’t even breathe well as the liquid came out from its nose. Usually, he was the king in our little chicks’ world, cocking the loudest and looking the most magnificent, and at that time, seeing him struggling just to stand up… Haiz.. It was the feel when you feel when you know he was trying his best to live for us all… I cried, I tried to sooth him, keep telling him to stay strong, don’t die…
I don’t know how long it was until Strawberry was walking near to the end of its’ suffering… He was getting weaker and weaker, his body softer and softer. My bro was beside me. I was sobbing. It came so sudden that it terrified me. I was holding Strawberry in my hands, then quite suddenly, he started to stiffened and 抽, jerking up and down, his eyes were so wide…. Very wide… He flapped its wing very hard, he almost flew out of my hands, his head jerking from side to side… It was then I shouted uncontrollably, “不要死！不要死！” My heart was calling out to it, don’t die to me… Don’t die… But, quite as soon as it came, it went… He was limp. His eyes slowly closed, and mine teared. It was the hardest thing to do, letting it go. I can’t bare my eyes to see what was once live, once so beautiful and what once was what we call golden voice, was gone, limp, never to walk or roam our little garden… I pray, he would find peace, along with the other chicks, in a better place. Dear Strawberry, Orange, Pineapple, Black Black, Big 母鸡, we love you all, hope you will be in a better place.
Guys, (and gals), we may not know when things will happen, it came as sudden as it went, joy, anger, sadness, grief, what we can do, is accept how things are, and treasure what you have, weather is a dog or someone special, you may not know what will happen tomorrow. And also, please take care as h1n1 is starting to spread in Penang… ^^




Right when it all started...



We love to play with them, our little tricks... This is pineapple, youngest of the three..



This is orange, the second...



This, is before strawberry pass away... Haiz... Pain...



May they all rest in peace...

School Starts!!

Here we are again, old place, old familiar faces and same old school.. Yep, I am back, to form 6.. Or as the teachers called it 大学先修班. So, as we waited (very long) in front of our school hall, we were greeted by our beloved teachers. They were nice enough to check our hair and school nametag. Well, what can you say, they were paid to do so.. >< The next day, it was kindda the same thing, we went, they talked, we listened, then they even invited some of the seniors to had a little chat with us, and we all ended up wanting a four flat for STPM. I would say, really good brainwashing. And am glad of it. That’s our school.. ^^ The third day, we were already assigned to our respective classes, (only 2 bio class for 7x students, pack much?) then classes begun. We were kindda shocked by our little wake up call by Mr Tan, our pure maths teacher.. XD But it was fun studying again. Then we had chemistry lessons too.. The teachers were quite keen on starting our lessons, and that gives me an impression that STPM weren’t going to be easy, with hectic schedule and packed information to digest, I wonder how am I going to survive through 爱心周 and other activities.. >< Just can say, we must all be working extra hyper duper hard to not fall behind.. GOOD LUCK TO ALL!!!

Unforgettable memory... tokun agn.. XD

mother's day... what a fun way 2 celebrate it with a hike in Tokun.. so, we, me n my cousins, went 2 hike there.. so, what started as extreme heart pounding n feet killing sport turn blue when the sky started 2 rain.. we, me n my cousin was juz few metres away from the hill top, and yet..... we didn't reach the top, but we were soaked wet when we reach the bottom.. so wet... XD

so damn wet... i can practically squeeze water from my blue towel.. XD





after that, we went to an indian restaurant to makan makan, banana leaf!!



VIP lerh!!



here lu.. really sui, 竟然 forget to take the food punya picture... TT
maybe next time got chance, take for you all.. XD
so, this is how we celebrated mom's day...

Younger housewife-to-be, desperate?

Tell me, what is the feeling of love? What is the feeling of likeness or fondness? I for one am totally confused. You see, my life (not something interesting if you consider my current one) is of simple and sometimes, boring. That is, until i met a certain someone. He was nice and cute, sometimes childish or emotionally striken, but still, a someone which makes your heart flutter when he texts you or just smile when you saw him near the corridor.. Yep, totally a case of a crush or in laymen's term, puppy love. But in the same time, you hope secretly that he maybe the one, maybe the right guy, secretly.. (shhhhhhh)But, considering mountains of teenage problems, including homework, socialising, co-curricular activities, cramping useless info into our brains for KNOWLEDGE, and bad hair day(well, it was a big problem for me.. XD), should we or should we not cross that fine line between friendship and something else more? We (girls) fantasize more than easy relationships or flattering courtsmenship(i truly don't how to spell the damn word).. No matter how we girls appeared on the outside: some tough, some polite, some sexy, some crazy or even some beauty, we are all still girls, which that soft part in our hearts we call our feelings.. 感情.. What would you do? What would the famous desperate housewife's characters do? Susan, Bree, Lynette and Gabrielle. Did they had any problems when they were young? Who knows?