This one is an afterthought of something that had happened to me lately.
Yes, it's about 讲错话 -- Saying the 'Wrong' Things
I recently was visited by a fellow friend and I introduced my house as 'just a small place'.
Apparently, my brother pointed it out that I was selling myself too low, which makes me look like boasting.
I have no idea at all that my speech would go such great length to hurt others.
Like the Chinese Proverb, 祸从口出 -- Bad things come out from the mouth.
Anyways, another incident happened again lately about my 'cursed' mouth.
I was at a relative's place and we were talking about dish covers.
As the dish cover at my relative's house was in steel, I said 'our house is so small, we have no place to put (storage) this'
And, it seems like I had done it again.
But this time, I oversold myself, which makes me sounds like I'm being sarcastic.
Well, what have I to say but to say I'm surely not good in saying the right/correct thing at that particular situation.
Many a times, the things I said mean no harm, but to others it seems to matter a lot.
And does this affect our future? People's perception on us? Our image? Our family's image?
(yea, that's a bit too far... But is it though??? -hmmmm....)
I was a bit fed up with myself for being stupid, why am I keep saying the wrong things.
Then, I realized something.
Is it that important to gain other's acceptance, as to the extend that we must say things 'to please'?
I know it's a kind of an over-generalization by saying that this applies to all context, but to be specific, are these important in leisurely conversations with friends and family?
I believe it's hard to please everyone, harder still to be That Person that says everything right.
We are being molded by history and society into believing that people live in community, and we share that common norm or set of values.
We are also programmed to reject any un-normal behaviors, such as people who just don't know how to say the 'right' things.
So how are we going to survive in this world?
By being 'One of Them'.
What if I do not want to be 'One of Them'?
What if I want to just me 'Me'?
What if I like to say things without having people to judge or correct me cause it 'doesn't sound right' or 'it's not polite to say it' or 'people might interpret it like that'...
The funny thing is, we will never be able to truly live the life we want unless we detach from society.
Which is, ironically, hard as people will not let you leave the society cause it's un-normal.
This feels like a vicious cycle.
This is why peer pressure or 'adult pressure' happens too.
Think of those news where people who are unhappy with their lives choose to end it and think of why cases like these happen...
Cause they don't fit into the society.
It's like how our body's immune system treats foreign objects which enters our body, but are all those foreign objects bad?
Well, that's about it for my rant today.
I know it's kindda depressing, just wanted to get it off my mind for a bit.
But, deep from my heart, I still appreciate those who reminded me of my faulty mistakes, especially my brother.
I know I'm not the smartest, but if the boot fits, I might just give it a go.
But so far, I'm still tersangkut in my own thoughts.
I wanna fight, to be myself tonight. :)