My Green Eyed Monster

After making a quick scroll in Facebook, I had fallen prey to the egoism of social media...

Succumbing to the jealously that arise from looking at what fame or fortune can do to people. 

Looking at my friends being chic, enjoying life, or achieving something, I felt myself envying their success. 

Looking back at myself and what I'm doing, I felt the pang of helplessness. 

I too,  wish for so much more in life, but it seems so far fetch still... 

To think of it from another point of  view, I have yet to actually do something for myself. 

Yet to make changes drastic enough for any observable improvement. 

I need to keep going, keep moving...

But, to where? 

That's the ultimate question. 

I guess that's life. 

You'll never know if you're doing the "right" thing for yourself until you explore everything. 

Here I am, exploring my options. 

At times I do stray, lured away by my green eyed monster... 

Them telling me that it's easier to just start afresh or start somewhere new. 

BUT

I've given myself some time to try out this particular path. 

And I do plan to stick to it for a while. 

Well, if all things do go wrong, at least I lived to say I've tried. 

To be honest, I'm actually quite contented with my current life. 

This lifestyle is just nice, towards my comfort, but it has its ups and downs. 

I wonder if I am able to get through this life for another 3/5 years. 

I wish I can do so much more in life. 

Make a name for myself, be somebody... 

I guess I'll have to leave that to fate to decide when it'll happen. 

Well I guess that's what I call the mid twenties crisis 

Now that I'm in this particular age, I can't help remembering the last time I met with a dear friend of mine, huiyin. 

She told me the same thing, that she was facing this dilemma in her work. 

But to me, she was very positive in her outlook of life, very strong in keeping to her dreams. 

Sometimes, I do wish I have a foreseeable dream. '

Maybe being 'cincai' is not a good thing too. 

Haha...

All in all, I hope this nagging feeling does leave me eventually. 

Hopefully, I can be way more than what I am now. 

I imagine myself, doing stuff that actually impact and inspire. 

I need that day to come to me, sooner or later. 

-end of rant-

Signing off

JCG

To my first ever mid-life "crisis"

Well, I'm not really reaching a mid-life "crisis" pe say, more like a mid-life "questioning".
So I am now shaping my path towards education in language and music.
But questions flowed in my head when I begin to wonder if I'm doing the 'right' thing for my future.
Say for instance, how could you be sure or certain about the things you do and how can you guarantee 'success' from it?

(yea, I know, success is such a big word!)
Which brings me to my point.
What do I want in life?

Everybody wants to live a nice peaceful life without needing to worry about basic needs.
Some would even go to the extend to achieve more when they're young, to be lazy when they are old.
They call it the passive income. (another big word!)
Well, Sheng and I had been through several 'business' models that attracted us with the aforementioned passive income.
But so far, we had not found one that is suitable for us.
I stumbled upon this Singaporean blog I'd like to share to all > Be inspired. Be A Champion
And I'd say, I've learnt a lot reading from this.
To practicalise this, there's still some gaps to be filled.

Back to my own story, well, I think what I can do right now, is to focus on getting my basic needs first.
I tend to get distracted at times, but I do hope I'm on the right track.
Well, what's the worse case scenario anyways...
But I'm definitely not satisfied enough with my current lifestyle.
More to go, there's definitely more to go...

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On a less serious side note, if you guys are ever in BM central market, do give this place a try!
It's a 煮炒 place where they serve incredible food.
It's called the 兴利 restaurant.

Kitchen manned by two brothers

 

Famous dished include the steamed fish, fried brinjal and fried tofu.

Well, we finished it in no time. 

It was delicious. 

To the beautiful people out there, stay strong, stay lovely. 

Signing off
JCG

Searching for myself

Well, it's been a month since I've written.
Yes, I miss the times when I could just sit down and write about anything that comes to mind.
But now, with so many plannings, preparations and work going on...
Yea, I still have free time, I'm just a lazy b*tch.

Well, convocation's this Saturday, so that's new.
Excited? Perhaps, but still, the last hurdle before entering society for real.
Which brings me to my dilemma, finding the right career.

I'm pretty tied up so far, working on off in projects, researchers, and others.
I'm also taking my teacher's course in music.
Well, at times I could be really free and at times, I would stay up late nights to finish off work.

I am shaping my future towards education, but I'm not too sure if that's what I want.
People around me advised me to go for what you CAN, instead of what you WANT to get me up on my feet.
While I agreed to that to some point, I just can't shake the feeling of me wanting to do so much more in life!
I want to write articles, I want to learn and meet exciting people and stuff, I want to travel...
So many things I've wanted, but is it for me?

That's why lately I've been bubbling myself into vacation plannings & field trips.
It's like my go-to escape plan to explore the world without actually needing to stray too far away from my future career now.
Who know where I'll end up next.

When in doubt, I actually stumbled on this article on career choices, if you are facing some sort of career problem, you can definitely look it up.

Finally, I'd like to say, what I'm going through is something pretty common.
But it is something new to me, so I need time to adjust to everything.
I know that no matter what we do, we just gotto inject some fun, humour and life into it...
And voilà, life's beautiful again!

What better way to end a blog with a chicken selfie!

Bak Bak! hehehehehehehehe

(Taken after my taman run - training for Penang Marathon yo! 7km!)

Signing off,

JCG

Sudden Struck of Certainty -- How I KNOW what I want to be

It was a normal day, me having Business Writing class at night time 8-10pm. Ughhh
What I thought to be a boring lecture actually turned into a life changing event!
It started off as a normal resume writing exercise.
With the hectic assignments and exams due weekly, it wasn't actually a big surprise for me.
BUT, what the lecturer said had inspired my thoughts.
"Resume writing in your General English class and resume writing in my class is totally different. My resume writing class would be more in depth, preparing you guys for the real world of working."

I was instantly dumbfound, stumped and a sudden small panicky feeling creep into my lil heart.
Remembering the wise old cracking of my fellow colleague from my past intern place, he stated jokingly, "Half a year till grad? Better start applying for jobs already..."
I went back to my hostel and rang my boyfriend.
"I think we should start sending in our resumes to companies. Look at how many uni students are without jobs, I want to have a job right after uni, I hope you'll consider it too."
He was calm as usual (charming he is), and he solemnly agreed that it was only logical.
Then I started sharing lots of stuff I know about works and how we must go about it.
After I was off the phone with him, back came my roommate...

Being that hothead I am, I told her about my 'big discovery/came through'.
She was nodding her head all along, agreeing with me in a spirited way (yea, she was a hothead too); so both of us were indulged into our own thoughts about our future.
Unable to shake that feeling away, I went to search online for StarJobs.
Yes, I have that habit of googling everything...
Out came the Career Quiz, and out came again, my results.
"Creative Type --You like to express yourself"
I was like --WHUUUTTT is this...
I did not think of myself as the creative type, I am no good with coming out with new ideas or concepts, being innovative and such. No, that's just not me...
Or is it...

I was there, still mind numbingly staring at my laptop for tomorrow's exam, and..
IT HIT ME
I HAD A DREAM!!!
Yes, it was Martin-Luther-King dramatic!
Remembering the old days when I was in secondary school, I would read columns after columns of articles on lifestyle, health care and beauty, articles about relationships and articles about life and philosophies...
I, sub-consciously, collected magazine from 2006 up till now, because I loved them.
They were too precious for me to throw away.
I love to read about the majesty of travel places, the art of communicating, the sounds of nature, and facts of life.
I love to read about the cute and warm moments in a relationship, the serene peace of relaxation tips, the gossip of the day and the stories, oh the beautiful stories...
Stories about life, stories about love, stories about nature, stories about motivation, and I'm an adult now, I'm not afraid to say it, stories about sex. (it's not about the actual act okay, it's about sex in a healthy way, how it improves your relationships, ass outta brains please)

I want to be a columnist.
And I am sure, so sure that the sheer power of it made me wrote this blogpost in the midst of studying for my exam tomorrow, so sure that I know I will do it or die trying, so sure that my mind is now turning with beautiful ideas and spinning at warp speed in planning for my future...

Inspirations do come in bad times.
(suddenly proud of myself for writing a blogpost on 'exam is the time for inspiration' years ago)
But I'm gonna call my mom first thing tomorrow morning to tell her the news!
Hmm, resume ideas...

Resume:
- I keep magazines from 2006 to now
- I wrote an award winning story
- I had a blog since Form 4
- I am sucker for beautifully written pieces
- The StarJob said I am a creative type of person
- You better hire me or else I'm telling mah mom...

JCG